I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
