OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
