I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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