I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
