i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
