just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
