ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
