I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
