Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
