I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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