She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
