Got a toothbrush?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize