And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
