you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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