I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
