i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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