I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize