I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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