Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
