i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
