we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
