You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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