I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
