Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
