These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
