I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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