he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
