u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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