i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Come on in and take your pants off
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