I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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