Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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