Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
