I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
