so that wasnt chicken after all
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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