Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
