Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
