i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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