Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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