the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just want to make out with him forever
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
