how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
