this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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