i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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