What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
