All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
