Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
