I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
