So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize