she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
