i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize