You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
