I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize