Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
