You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
