It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
