And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
