At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
