I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
