So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
