There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
