OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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