im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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