I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
