i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
