That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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