I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
worst night to have a conscience
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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