Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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