i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Houston, we have a blender
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Congratulations! We have a period
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