perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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