im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
