My first STD was from a foam party
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We are all done wearing pants today
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
