sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
